I grew up on reruns of The Golden Girls, AbFab, Keeping Up Appearances, The Jeffersons, Mama's Family, The Carol Burnett Show, Laverne & Shirley, I Love Lucy, and Designing Women. I've been addicted to television ever since.

My newer televisual obsessions include: Cougar Town, The Good Wife, Veep, Archer, Arrested Development, Orange is the New Black, Mindy Project, Girls, Justified, Miranda, 30 Rock, True Blood, Orphan Black, Game of Thrones, AHS, The Office, Supernatural and of course The Real Housewives.

I love female comics, including: Joan Rivers, Bette Midler, Tina Fey, Whoopi Goldberg, Kathy Griffin, Chelsea Handler, etc.

My dream: creating my own series.
Or publishing a book.

I'm fluent in French, Portuguese, Spanish. Graduated from Cal, current UCLA student.

 

Fox Orders Ryan Murphy-Produced Comedy-Horror Series Scream Queens

MORE Ryan Murphy?! Come on, FX, I’m sure there are other brilliant showrunners out there—cough, cough. Murphy fatigue is a thing.

The Good Wife has constantly carried a perfect amount of smart wit; usually through Eli Gold, Robyn Burdine, and David Lee’s snide remarks as the mediums of said humor, a source of comic relief, if you will. But there is another secret weapon in the form of a guest star that packs a funny punch: Elsbeth Tascioni. Remember, Carrie Preston has won an Emmy for playing what is perhaps the most fan favorite non-regular member of the show. This week’s episode, appropriately entitled “Shiny Objects,” highlights her talent shall we say. In other words, the opening sequence is a whimsical look at how the mind behind her madness works. At first it seemed odd and random; a series of images—clowns, a witch, wallpaper designs. But that’s how Elsbeth’s brain processes information before arriving at her Eureka moment. It was vivid, erratic, fun, and wildly entertaining—words I would use to describe Elsbeth.


Unfortunately for Elsbeth, her nonsensical yet victorious ways were up against Alicia this week. Alicia knows how Elsbeth works, so she distracts her with bright pictures of animals as she is questioning the witness. It does induce some chuckles, sure, especially when Elsbeth says “I don’t even like penguins,” and simply brilliant on Alicia’s part, but it’s also quite ruthless. Alicia, who seemed to admire and like Elsbeth, had no problem crippling her during the trial. Great for being a lawyer, but Alicia needs friends here. At lease next time she encounters Elsbeth she’ll have to play nice, since they’re teaming up for a class action lawsuit.


Speaking of Alicia, she announces her candidacy with support from pretty faced Finn Polmar and Peter (Chris Noth). Of course, Peter didn’t want Finn to endorse Alicia which called for a great trade of harsh truths and jabs between Alicia and Peter. Clearly they’re still married because they need each other for political gain. The press conference and the battle of words between The Florricks trace Alicia’s character development from the scandal involving Peter’s unfaithfulness to political leader candidacy. She’s come a long way.
Over at Florrick/Agos/Lockhart, Diane clicks on what turns out to be ransomware, inadvertently locking all the firm’s data and files that are threatened to be deleted if they don’t pay $50,000. They pay, but Diane realizes the code to unlock the files was delivered to her L&G email address. Cue some moments of crass, courtesy of David Lee. Diane returns to L&G to get what she needs from David under the condition that she will discuss transferring the lease, which is still in her name, over to David.


On a different note, going back to the comic elements of the show, Christine Baranski got to play some comical moments dealing with the deficiencies of the Florrick/Agos offices (i.e. leaks wetting her chair, cockroaches.) Baranski’s shriek after discovering those roaches was hilarious. But these bits tie in with the lease debacle: Diane hints at having a better location for Florrick/Agos/Lockhart. It would make sense that she pushes Canning and Lee out. It’s really a trade though—cockroaches for a set of human roaches. Zing!


The unsung heroes of the episode were Cary Zepps and Kalinda because their efforts allowed the firm to regain computer access. This proves to be bittersweet since last week it was announced that Archie Panjabi was exiting the show. But at least Cary (Ben Rappaport) showcased his Russian skills. It’s also worth noting that emotionally unavailable Kalinda is back to sleeping around on Cary. Never change Kalinda, never change.


Next week: More Elsbeth, More of Alicia’s campaign.







Were you glad to see Elsbeth return? Is Alicia ready to handle the political arena? Will Cary end things with Kalinda for good? Why does he go after he despite being aware of her actions, including the fact that she uses him? Will Diane move Florrick, Agos, and Lockhart to the old L&G offices? Are Finn and Alicia going to sleep together?
Also, did you guys know the seventh season will be the show’s final?

The Good Wife has constantly carried a perfect amount of smart wit; usually through Eli Gold, Robyn Burdine, and David Lee’s snide remarks as the mediums of said humor, a source of comic relief, if you will. But there is another secret weapon in the form of a guest star that packs a funny punch: Elsbeth Tascioni. Remember, Carrie Preston has won an Emmy for playing what is perhaps the most fan favorite non-regular member of the show. This week’s episode, appropriately entitled “Shiny Objects,” highlights her talent shall we say. In other words, the opening sequence is a whimsical look at how the mind behind her madness works. At first it seemed odd and random; a series of images—clowns, a witch, wallpaper designs. But that’s how Elsbeth’s brain processes information before arriving at her Eureka moment. It was vivid, erratic, fun, and wildly entertaining—words I would use to describe Elsbeth.

Unfortunately for Elsbeth, her nonsensical yet victorious ways were up against Alicia this week. Alicia knows how Elsbeth works, so she distracts her with bright pictures of animals as she is questioning the witness. It does induce some chuckles, sure, especially when Elsbeth says “I don’t even like penguins,” and simply brilliant on Alicia’s part, but it’s also quite ruthless. Alicia, who seemed to admire and like Elsbeth, had no problem crippling her during the trial. Great for being a lawyer, but Alicia needs friends here. At lease next time she encounters Elsbeth she’ll have to play nice, since they’re teaming up for a class action lawsuit.

Speaking of Alicia, she announces her candidacy with support from pretty faced Finn Polmar and Peter (Chris Noth). Of course, Peter didn’t want Finn to endorse Alicia which called for a great trade of harsh truths and jabs between Alicia and Peter. Clearly they’re still married because they need each other for political gain. The press conference and the battle of words between The Florricks trace Alicia’s character development from the scandal involving Peter’s unfaithfulness to political leader candidacy. She’s come a long way.

Over at Florrick/Agos/Lockhart, Diane clicks on what turns out to be ransomware, inadvertently locking all the firm’s data and files that are threatened to be deleted if they don’t pay $50,000. They pay, but Diane realizes the code to unlock the files was delivered to her L&G email address. Cue some moments of crass, courtesy of David Lee. Diane returns to L&G to get what she needs from David under the condition that she will discuss transferring the lease, which is still in her name, over to David.

On a different note, going back to the comic elements of the show, Christine Baranski got to play some comical moments dealing with the deficiencies of the Florrick/Agos offices (i.e. leaks wetting her chair, cockroaches.) Baranski’s shriek after discovering those roaches was hilarious. But these bits tie in with the lease debacle: Diane hints at having a better location for Florrick/Agos/Lockhart. It would make sense that she pushes Canning and Lee out. It’s really a trade though—cockroaches for a set of human roaches. Zing!

The unsung heroes of the episode were Cary Zepps and Kalinda because their efforts allowed the firm to regain computer access. This proves to be bittersweet since last week it was announced that Archie Panjabi was exiting the show. But at least Cary (Ben Rappaport) showcased his Russian skills. It’s also worth noting that emotionally unavailable Kalinda is back to sleeping around on Cary. Never change Kalinda, never change.

Next week: More Elsbeth, More of Alicia’s campaign.

Were you glad to see Elsbeth return? Is Alicia ready to handle the political arena? Will Cary end things with Kalinda for good? Why does he go after he despite being aware of her actions, including the fact that she uses him? Will Diane move Florrick, Agos, and Lockhart to the old L&G offices? Are Finn and Alicia going to sleep together?

Also, did you guys know the seventh season will be the show’s final?

I wish The Television Academy would look past the genre of the show and recognize the stellar performances. In particular, Melissa McBride, who has undeniable chemistry with her male co-stars, deserves some love. She has been able to merit sympathy for her character’s transformation and prove that the zombie infect series is a good playing ground for the female players.

I wish The Television Academy would look past the genre of the show and recognize the stellar performances. In particular, Melissa McBride, who has undeniable chemistry with her male co-stars, deserves some love. She has been able to merit sympathy for her character’s transformation and prove that the zombie infect series is a good playing ground for the female players.

I don’t watch Teen wolf but I can’t resist a bearded man in a football shirt—one for La Furia Roja nonetheless.

(Source: bussykween)

Dina Manzo’s reunion look reminds me of Xtina circa “I’m Not Myself Tonight” music video.

Dina Manzo’s reunion look reminds me of Xtina circa “I’m Not Myself Tonight” music video.

As I’m discovering new music and venturing into other genres, I came across this delicious man from Coldplay. He’s a little slim but my cooking will thicken him up. Thank you, Jesus!

As I’m discovering new music and venturing into other genres, I came across this delicious man from Coldplay. He’s a little slim but my cooking will thicken him up. Thank you, Jesus!

Last night we went out for well earned Martinis after eight hours of class. But I should have stopped after four. My friends came over and I got carried away with the Olive/Rosemary vodka. And well, today I refuse to get out of bed and will rewatch season cinq of The Good Wife. Also, I’m wearing a hat because my hair isn’t cooperating.

I’m in bed wearing a mint mask for work, I swear. Also, I’m studying and watching SNL’s best of Amy Poehler. The plus side of removing Poehler’s work: if I fuck up my sight translation tomorrow, I can just start Amy’s Hillary Clinton impression in Spanish. “¡Yo quiero ser Presidenta!”

(My weekly commentary on American Horror Story: Freak Show will contain spoilers. Proceed with caution.)

“Massacres and Matinees” presented a three-titted hermaphrodite; a Diva playing a servant; Kathy Bates’ distracting accent; Sarah Paulson singing; and, Pepper demanding meatloaf. Even with that apt, albeit brief, description, the fourth year of American Horror Story seems to benefit from slower pacing. Perhaps it’s because its predecessor, subtitled Coven, went for too much, too fast, resulting in creative fatigue and confusion toward the end. Here, Ryan Murphy appears to take his players and let them present their talent, like a real life freak show. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a good thing because it will leave the spectator guessing what will happen next and how stories connect. 

The scenes with John Carroll Lynch’s Twisty were terrifying thanks to their suspense and visuals. His opener was one of those scenes that at first, thanks to the color presentation, seem harmless. But once the camera follows the trail of blood, the arrival of trouble approaches and Twisty does his thing.  His other moment was when he’s presenting his earlier “work” to his captives and they attempt to escape, hitting his face, and revealing part of his face is missing. It was cringe worthy.

Now, Twisty is a killer, that much is clear. Just looking at him should hint at running the opposite way—unless you’re Gloria Mott (Frances Conroy).

Gloria may be the world’s most incompetent mother. Sure, she’ll do anything to make her son Dandy happy. That’s the problem: she’ll do anything. Like say, hire Twisty, a killer clown, after asking him if he does children parties. He does. And I’m sure he kills them after. The fact that Gloria can’t process this makes her the scariest character this season. Despite those borderline mental flaws, Gloria is still my favorite oddball from this circus themed installment of Murphy’s spookfest, if only because I have a penchant for rich naïvetés who possess refinement and hire Patti LaBelle as a maid. (Yes, Ms. LaBelle made her debut on the show as Gloria’s employee.)

Twisty becomes Dandy’s human toy. What’s freaky about Dandy, played by pretty-faced Fitt Wittrock, isn’t just his horn-like hair curls or bitchy attitude, it’s his lust for blood and to inflict pain. That element of fright is further emphasized by his pastel-drowned outer image. Going back to what I mentioned last week, the style, in this case the use of a light palette is used to highlight the juxtaposition to what should be feared. In other words, you wouldn’t run away from a rich boy in khakis and a light blue button down. You do, however, once he’s covered in blood.

While Dandy has found a sanctuary with Twisty, earlier he is rejected by Hooker Claws (Evan Peters—yes, that’s the nickname I’m using for all my reviews) from joining Elsa’s act. Jimmy/Hooker Claws has other things to worry about like trying to eat at a diner with Pepper yelling “meatloaf” and dealing with the Strongest Man, AHS newcomer, Michael Chiklis.

The Strongest Man has history with the Bearded Lady (Kathy Bates), and as viewers we know that means Hooker Claws is the Strongest Man’s son. But Chiklis wasn’t the only one making his debut, his character’s wife, Desiree (Angela Bassett), who is a full-blown hermaphrodite thanks to “three titties, proper girl parts, and a ding-a-ling,” also makes her first appearance.

As the cast of colorful characters grows, the back stories are slowly being churned and the course of the narrative is carefully unraveling at a glacial but entertaining pace. For example, the cops imprisoned poor innocent Meep for the death of one of their investigators—which will most likely start a war. Then, there’s the moment Bette and Dot sang, prompting Jessica Lange’s Elsa’s “oh shit, one of the heads can sing” reaction, resulting in Elsa pitting the heads against each other. I wonder if it’s possible for one head to live without the other. Then again in a Ryan Murphy world, anything can happen, like making the rich folks scarier than a murderous clown.

Next week: Dennis O’Hare, Emma Roberts, and Wes Bentley—in all his bearded glory—join the show to shake things up some more.

Will Meep be avenged? Can Desiree and the Strongest Man save Elsa’s sinking tent? Will Dot turn against Bette? Can Finn learn to control the gang without outbursts or interruptions? Who will Dandy and Twisty murder? Isn’t Gloria fabulous?

When I was in college “finding myself…”

…I started to bond with my RA to the point where I had an adult sleep over in his dorm. And by sleep over I mean wrestled which led to the dirty-dirty. This was completely against the rules which made it more enjoyable. However, like most flings, it went down in a blaze of denial. His denial; he claimed to be straight. I had merely helped him lift a huge weight off his shoulders. From that conversation on, he never talked to or greeted me again. This was an issue because we lived two doors down from each other and out floor-mates were very close; it was awkward and clearly tense.

Fast forward to now. I received a message from one of those former floor-mates telling me my former RA and two-to-three time lover (I can’t remember how many experiments we performed), is involved in a Capital Hill scandal. Immediately I googled all this to subsidize my knowledge. And then it hit me: I could have been one of those politician wives dragged into controversy—a la Alicia Florrick, or Mellie Grant. Can you imagine?

Okay, I’m obviously exaggerating here, but somehow I found it delicious. Does that make me a bad person? Probably not. But it does say one thing: I have nothing better to do on a Friday morning at work than revel in the mini-drama of the person who granted me my first dick slap.

Current mood:

image

Please excuse my lack of recaps/reviews for The Mindy Project. With school and work, I’m learning to balance my time and I do forget to tend to my television commentary. Also, Tumblr isn’t working properly so I have to post from my phone and or tablet. Anyway, back to Mindy. Last week was all about Mindy’s butt. Okay, maybe more about her sex life, but it did start with Danny “accidentally” slipping his male genitalia into Mindy’s back door. It was a hilarious, (un)welcomed disaster that led to Peter presenting Mindy with a series of possible ways to spice up her sex-life. Meanwhile, Peter was in a fight with Jeremy, who burned off his eye brows. Priceless. Now onto yesterday’s episode all about Mindy’s…sexuality.

The gang—including my favorite, Tamra (Xosha Roquemore)—attended some sort of conference for the hospital. Naturally, Mindy is super late; her tardiness and “Fancy” ringtone interrupt, irk, and annoy Niecy Nash’s Dr. Jean Fishman. While it appears that Mindy has met her newest nemesis, things turn around after they hang out. And by that I mean, they have a “nude couples’ massage,” check Mindy’s breasts to make sure they’re symmetrical, and, yes, kiss.

This misunderstanding was a clever plot twist. I thought Mindy and Jean would just be rivals and become besties, not each others’ problematic love interest. Anyway, Nash and Kaling played well off each other and the moment where Mindy comes clean to her suggests Mindy subconsciously enjoyed it. But there was a second twist—Jean’s married. In that same scene as the two ladies are discussing their status, with Danny in the room, Jean’s wife enters to this from Danny: “Excuse me sir, we’re in the middle of something.” More of this four-some, please!

While the Jean-Mindy story was excellent, I’m in love with the show’s other blossoming relationship: Peter and Jeremy. Sure, there is tension, but this time they bonded as opposed to clashed as they have in the preceding four episodes. I guess throwing ping-pong balls into beer-filled cups with fellow Dartmouth graduates, including Shonda Rhimes whose real passion is beer pong, does something to people.

Now, Peter and Jeremy beat Shonda, which prompts Peter to shout this zinger: “What’s up, Shonda, am I the new mayor of ShondaLand?” For the record, he’s not. But his celebration is brief. As Shonda is catches up with the boys, Peter tells her his girlfriend broke up with him, which is classic Lefty. As in “left” by a girl, not because he predominantly uses his left hand; this I missed the first time I viewed the episode. Everyone teases him. I’m game for more Shonda cameos, especially if they are as entertaining as this one and include an American Jeremy.

I have to give kudos to Mindy for nailing yet another cold open. This time she and a tipsy Danny, who is a better drunk driver than Mindy is a sober-driver, are pulled over. With the help of her tears and quench for drama, Mindy gets out of getting a ticket. But, Danny rewards her right then and there with “Woah, Nelly” worthy sexy-time, prompting the cop to come back fifteen minutes later; Amazing.

Best bits: “I wrote a TV pilot about him once. The network said it was too sad,” Shonda telling Jeremy about a series she penned based on Peter.

Scandal’s my jam.” Jeremy to Shonda.

Will Mindy swim in the lady pond? Would you like more of Mindy and Jean? Are you in for more American Jeremy and Shonda Rhimes beer pong bits?

Almost a year after it aired, I’m watching Josh Hutcherson’s episode of SNL. I mean who doesn’t need Josh’s cute face, a giant Turkey and Kate McKinnon as Effie before work?